Politely say “No, thank you”.
There is a great deal of power in saying no. This also means the ability to say no requires the same conviction and strength to do it. We are coming out of a times in our lives where interestingly a lot of no was said to us, and we simply had to accept it over-night. When one is denied access to some very basic rights; like freedom of movement, eating out, playing sport or going for a simple haircut, this can hone into our emotions very deeply, making us experience a wide range of feelings from anger to hopelessness to helplessness and ultimately, we make a full circle and arrive at acceptance. So, receiving a no can contribute to us re-evaluating our entire system of personal values, based on the limitations we have to live with, or new realities we have to adjust to. The pandemic quite literally has done this for most of us. Subconsciously we have created lives for ourselves where we been negated so much yet, have also validated plenty that had been dusting away in the periphery for too long. One big difference between before and after is our connection with own self. In having to isolate, we learned how to meet our basic needs by finding replacements for other human beings and connecting with nature or our pets. In being denied eating out, we made an effort to cook meals that encouraged us to examine our physical health. In watching others pass away and grieve their loss, it obliged us to look after our vulnerabilities and care for our own mind.
As we said no to so much, we also said yes to plenty. The yes has abundantly rippled into our lives, giving many of us a sense of peace, tranquillity and a slight averseness to the old. There is an emotion or several emerging with the advent of freedom of movement, humans reconnecting and summer craving to be painted. Many of us are conflating between nervousness and panic. One feels nervous or panicky when the body detects a shock to the system or there is an increased level of unwelcomed stress. Ordinarily you might question why are we feeling this shock when we have been relentlessly waiting for our freedom and opportunity to celebrate in a post pandemic world?
Do you remember how you responded when the many nos were imposed on you back in March 2020? Let me remind you about the toilet roll saga or the perhaps you recall flour being out of stock for weeks in many grocery stores? This was also a panicked nervous response to your set of values breaking down over-night.
What would be the best way to overcome these emotions and enter into a world that will hopefully be virus free or at least virus managed? Remind yourself of all those things you said yes to in the last year, that have coloured and enhanced your life. Amidst a pandemic you chose to take two walks a day, you chose to sleep at 10:30 pm, you chose to eat better, you chose to save your money and you even chose who fits well in your bubble. You simplified your life, perhaps because you had no choice. It is now tempting to embrace all your social calls, sleep at midnight or book a table at all the restaurants you missed and try the new ones too.
Is your 2021 you ready to say yes to all of that? What would happen if you said no, thank you? If there is one humbling lesson, we have all done a Masters in over the last year and half, is how to find peace in conflict. You have graduated and are now ready to conquer the world again, but remember what you have left behind, that no longer serves you. You’ve unlearned the past and ended many swaying debts. If we want to live more, we have to live more with less by politely saying no.
